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when one becomes a parent

When one becomes a parent, everything changes.

When I became a mother, I was suddenly awake in a new way, body, mind, and spirit.

I realized my own selfishness. And I immediately understood the ability to love another person with an inexplicably constant love. I felt fear, that the tiny and eternal being I was holding would be devoured by the cruel world. And I found myself overwhelmed by the gambling trust of God to give me something so precious, fragile, and beautiful. I started to think about what He must really be like, to do such a thing. Words like hopeful and generous and romantic came to mind.

I understood something else too. Something deep and mysterious and always a little elusive to my heart, until I held a warm, soft, innocent little person who began inside my own body.

I started to see what God did for us. When He sent His son, freely, unconditionally, extravagantly. I began to realize what kind of massive sacrifice that was.

For a parent.


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